thief

Tonight while Mommy wuzzed making dinner, I jumped up to the counter (in my very annoying way), and while she wuz not looking, I taked a piece of meat.  A whole chunk of raw steak.  I tended I wuzzed a wolf and I prowled out my own dinner in the wild.  I started to swallow it and Mommy shrieked "PERCIVAL , what did you do?  Where is the udder piece of meat?"  "#)**&^*!#_%#$#^"
I gulped it down and sed I not doing a single ting Mommy, I jest sitting here watching you cook dinner.  Thin she noticed and I tended like evryting wuz normal.  I tried to tell Mommy that Asa or Max did it, but she knew bedder.  She sed she shud give me a paddling, but she dent.  She callt me a bad boy,  That hurt worse than a paddling.  I try to be good boy all the time.

This is whut the recipe callt for...

and this is whut wuzzed left after I helped muself

Now I has a big ball of rawness in my tum tum.  If Wolfs can eat it, so canz Percy!

Lamby

I noticed a speshal gift under the tree for grouchy pants Asa.  I tink I know whut it its!  I tink it is a new Lambchop!  From Santy Paws-jest like I asked for-he must have gotten my letter!  I am so happy.  I hope GPA will be happy too.